Saturday, October 29, 2011

Why I'm Seriously Tempted to Homeschool



Two emails I sent off yesterday. It's been a long week.

Hi Ms. M[...],

I just wanted to apologize for the interruptions (backpack, lunch, barrette, etc.) this week. This week's been a rough one on H[...]--and thus the rest of us. Although she's normally been asleep by 7 lately, it's too late for her, and she's progressively been sleeping worse at night, culminating in 3 a.m. wake-ups where she's been unable to fall back to sleep at all (Mon) or to not be able to go back to sleep for a couple hours (Tues, Wed, Thu). We finally got her to bed at 5:45 last night and interrupted her sleep cycle at 12:40 a.m. (which often helps habitual wakings but isn't a guarantee). Gratefully, last night she finally was able to sleep the entire night, not waking until 6:07. What a beautiful thing to hear her calling this morning, "Mom! The clock says 6-0-7! Can I get out of bed now?"

We are re-doubling our efforts to be done tucking her in at 5:45 p.m. at the latest so that she can get a full 12hrs of sleep, which is how much she appears to need. (before school: 10 at night, 2 during the day) We will also continue letting her nap at least on Saturdays, early release, and no school days. (We try for an early nap Sundays, but it often doesn't work because she naturally wants to sleep around the time we're supposed to be going to church. We've actually missed church a few times this past month just to let her sleep, she's been so worn out.) She was able to nap 3-4x each week the first couple weeks of this past month (staff workday, keeping her home from church & 2 days of school with her cold), which allowed her to stop waking every other night--simply heavenly--and is probably why it was so easy to slip into letting her stay up until 7. However, upon returning to school for the whole week last week and our not getting her to bed before 7 p.m., she started waking briefly again and then finally couldn't go back to sleep, like I mentioned. Hopefully we can stick with this insanely early bedtime because otherwise I think I'm going to lose it myself! (She's already lost it a number of times.)

I'm grateful she's naturally such a well-mannered child because otherwise I'm sure her sleep deprivation would be much more obvious during school hours!

Thanks,
R[...] :)

The ironic thing is that Miss H was honored at a reception Thursday morning for being a "Terrific Kid" in the area of responsibility. Or maybe that was a necessary positive to help rebalance the scale so we didn't completely slide off into insanity. . . . She really is an amazing kid. This sleep thing just tends to hide that, which is why this full-day school thing is really killing me. I hate the effect it so easily has on her and the rest of us. But, I guess that's life. It's supposed to be hard, right?

Hi Ms. B[...],


First I want to tell you I'm impressed with your website! Nice job! I'm glad to learn what my daughter is learning in her classes as I take her education seriously. I appreciate you sharing not only what activities you're doing with my child but also what your expectations for her are.

My kindergarten-aged daughter H[...] S[...] (Ms. M[...]'s class) has exercise-induced asthma. Maybe you've already been informed of this, but I wanted to make sure you were aware as she's told me she's been having symptoms during P.E. Her asthma is generally mild, but it affects her ability to give her full 100% during physical activities. Her typical outward symptom when she gets active is coughing, although the less apparent symptoms are dizziness and foggy thinking. She's supposed to be receiving a dose of xoponex (similar to albuterol) before P.E. to prevent her symptoms, but this generally hasn't been happening. Apparently the dr only writing "as needed" on her medication form and then my request on all the additional health forms I filled out that she receive it before P.E. wasn't enough for her to be getting it then. Earlier in the week her doctor faxed a note clarifying that she needs it before P.E., which the nurse confirmed with me was all that was needed for H[...] to be given it regularly before P.E. However, H[...] said that she still wasn't given her medication today. Hopefully she'll start receiving it regularly next week.

I know you have lots of kids to keep track of, but if you could keep an eye out for her, maybe ask her how she's doing during/after vigorous activity every now and then, I would really appreciate it. I've talked to her about her need to raise her hand and let you know if she starts having symptoms, but she is still young and may not do so. If she does start having symptoms, she needs to sit and rest and have her xoponex so that she's symptom free before continuing activity.

Thank you so much for your help,
R[...] S[...]

There were a lot of other things I could have written in both emails, but I am very proud of myself for showing a great deal of control. To be honest, I think I've already "lost it" a couple of times this week. But as far as these emails are concerned, A+ for responsibility on my end!

6 comments:

Nadia said...

we have a girl in the ward that's taylors age, that has the same problem as hannah. the school day is too long for her. her mother pulled her out last year, and homeschooled her.
becca, if you are feeling that prompting to homeschool, listen to it. you can never go wrong when you listen to the spirit. call rachel if you want some help or ideas of where to start looking. she did a TON of homework on in before she took the plunge.
good luck!

Southern Spud said...

Oh, dear, you mean it can continue until that age!?!? I tried getting an appt sent up with a pediatric sleep dr earlier in the week but his secretary didn't call us back and I haven't gotten back to it myself. Gotta get back on that today.

I don't know that it's a prompting, but it certainly is a "grass is greener on the other side" thing. I have to be careful to look at it realistically, and I actually have started "doing my homework" in that area. I've been reading a couple books on homeschooling that Rachel recommended and am trying to get a hold of a third (how to hs when you're a disorganized nutcase like me ;) ), and we have a neighbor as well as two families that we know well in our ward who homeschool. I had the crazy thought of asking the mom of the family nearest us--they both have a girl H's age--if she could take on homeschooling H for us, but then I had to laugh because the woman has seven children she's already trying to juggle, plus she's Primary President, so she has a lot on her plate.

Obstacles with H is that she LOVES going to school. I think she'd be heartbroken were we to do it. She likes "homeschooling" on days she's sick or has a day off (half-day and a whole day off each month), but doing it all the time would just not be very cool in her book. I know she also needs the extra physical activity school has provided--daily recess and 2x week P.E. However, as shown in my post, my concern about her not getting her meds when she's supposed to is definitely a point toward homeschooling. She's had a cold the entire month, which makes her asthma a little worse, and with the cold weather coming on, it is becoming a more of a concern.

One of my personal obstacles to hs'n H is my need to nap during the day. H IS NOT CAPABLE of leaving me alone during that time if Daddy isn't around, and I am seriously one WITCH without my sleep as well, and as great as going to bed at 7 p.m. myself is, it's not something I can realistically do every night--I've got to get some kind of work done at some point, although maybe I really would use my time more wisely? The second is the fact I'm NOT a productive person to begin with. Chronic fatigue plus ADD is just bad news. I've been excited to get back into helping with dishes and doing a load of laundry here and there during this 2nd trimester (yes, we have weeks of laundry constantly piled up), but I don't know how long this extra energy will last me. And then when baby boy comes in late Feb, whooooo!

But, again, it is very tempting. I was thinking today that I really need to keep praying about it--as well as to pray for help in getting H to bed so early consistently.

Seth would homeschool in a heartbeat if he wasn't working. ;)

Anyway, it's so good to hear from you, Nod. I've wanted to call you, but I know you've got your hands full 24/7. Email me a good time for us to chat, okay?!

Loves, R :)

Robyn said...

I know what it's like to have a child seems to need more sleep than most children their age. Last year Noah started nursery, and it was full-time. But when I sent him full-time, he would just be so tired that he was not fun to be around after school. Luckily, school isn't mandatory until age 5, so I worked it out with the teachers to send him only 3 days a week, and he could still get his naps in the other days. When N didn't have a school to go to this year, I thought about the option of homeschooling, but knew it wasn't right for N or myself. He needs that social interaction, and was suffering from not getting it. Plus, he learns the traditional things (writing, etc) so much better in a classroom environment, where all the other children are doing it, and the teacher is someone other than me telling him to do it. Otherwise he just isn't interested.

I think it really depends on the child and yourself. Would H enjoy learning at home? What would she miss from not being with so many other children her age? Plus I know exactly what it's like to be pregnant, have another little one at home, and try to juggle everything. It's hard, and it's kind of nice to have a bit of a break, sometimes necessary for your sanity.

Maybe you could arrange a face-to-face meeting with H's teacher to discuss the issues you have. Maybe there would be a way for H to have a short rest during school (after lunch say?) so that she doesn't get quite to tired. I remember we had naptime when I was in kindergarten, but that was ages ago.

I know this is a decision you need to make for yourself, but thought I'd share my experience with you. Good luck.

Southern Spud said...

I really appreciate the support with this, Ladies. :) It's obviously been pretty frustrating!

Robyn, H's like Noah--needs that social interaction and appreciates having someone other than her mother tell her what to do! ;) And sending dear H off to school has definitely been a sanity saver. I just couldn't handle an over-tired little girl, a toddler, and pregnancy every single day. The moment H's home, unless she gets computer time, all focus is on her just to get her through snack, homework, dinner, and into bed. It's pretty exhausting.

I met with her teacher and principal at the beginning of the year. After hearing about H's challenges, her teacher was pretty sympathetic, but the principal was still pretty gung-ho about just trying it out for a while. His concern is her taking advantage of "getting to stay/go home", although that's certainly not her concern at least at this point! I've learned since then--and I'm surprised neither of them actually brought it up at the time--that county regulations require children who miss 12 days, even excused days, to deal with an attendance committee who has to recommend to the principle whether they should be allowed to continue to the next grade or not. Jumping through hoops is not my cup of tea, esp with my ADD--it's hard enough just keeping track of regular life--but I guess I just have to get used to the idea. I think I need to meet with her teacher and principal again in the next week or two and see if there might be any other options available for working something out if we have a dr on our side. "Chronically ill" children, with annual dr paperwork, are worked with attendance-wise. In reality, H's not a very ill child, but I'm hoping we can work something out in a similar way without having to jump through too many hoops.

Nadia said...

ok, if she needs the social interaction that badly, homeschooling her is probably not the best idea. however, i know in idaho, you can do dual enrollment. that means they attend some of the public school, and then homeschool the rest. it's certainly worth looking into.
as for being tired during the day, look at yourself hun. you just told me that you HAVE to have your nap or you are a witch. 7, or 29? some never get past that stage.
as for the school, see if you can get an iep for her. i know she doesn't necessarily have a disability, but asthma can turn into one when not managed properly. if administration is not willing to follow doctors orders, then you need to step it up a little bit.
good luck!

Southern Spud said...

Orange County unfortunately doesn't allow dual enrollment. In pulling up Durham County's policies, I saw that they allow *20* absences a year, 10 per semester! H only gets 12!!!