H AD/HD Cont.

From an email to a friend, who was surprised H would be considered hyperactive. . . .

I, too, am eager for that moment when we get to learn how everything really works!  Oh, wow, have I been waiting for that moment!!!  I'm so tired of trying to piece things together when I'm sure I'm missing pieces of the puzzle!

Well, here's the story:

I've been back and forth on the hyperactive part too.  She never stood out to me when she was younger as being overly active, but she's seemed much more active the past year or so since losing her sleep (full-day school), which really I view as a sleep issue.  She's wired-tired!  Her teacher reported she's had difficulties sitting still in class, is distracting other kids, and is usually running and skipping rather than walking.  She's also been bouncing off the walls at home in the afternoons/evenings.  She normally can't sit at the table for dinner; she's usually standing or leaning against me.  But, hmmm...leaning on me. Maybe because she's tired?  Yes!  

Through kindergarten, we ate early (4:45/5) and tried to be as consistent as possible with her bedtime (6, but 6:30 after N came) and brought her home once a week as needed so she'd get 3 naps a week.  She was still difficult to work with, but at least she was mildly functioning.  Homework got done, even if it took an hour and a half, and we were able to get her to bed on time.  However, she got off schedule the last few weeks of school when my parents visited, and we never got her back on schedule through the summer.  When school started, we tried and tried to return to the previous early schedule, but it just wasn't working.

Then, just shy of a week before her evaluation, we switched around her afternoon schedule so that she was eating dinner super early (4/4:15) and didn't ask her to do her homework until after dinner.  Suddenly she was cooperative!  Okay, more cooperative!  Homework has actually taken 30 minutes at times!  Wow!  Bedtime at 6/6:30 became an attainable goal again!  Within a week of this, she finally stopped waking every single night.  It's been four months since she only woke once a week!!  

She was still pretty hyper by the evaluation, though.  I think she's been much calmer through this second week or so, but she's still been inattentive and tantrumy.  However, she's also been off her maintenance asthma med the past week, and I've observed the past couple days that she's not breathing as well, so that may be why she's not as active, rather than the improved sleep.  We'll have to see over this next week how her activity level changes as she gets back on that med. 

I'd really gone back and forth on getting her evaluated, since I've felt like she'd be given the diagnosis whether or not it was really ADD or her sleep causing her behavior problems (difficulty transitioning and following instructions, not finishing things, super messy, daily tantrums).  And, I was going to cancel the evaluation if her teacher saw no problem, but she did.  However, I've realized since that having her evaluated has at least re-enforced for us that her behavior is not intentional.  She's not failing to follow through on requests because she's stubborn and disobedient; she's simplyforgetting because she's distracted--whether because of insufficient sleep or because of AD/HD.  Forgetfulness and defiance need to be handled quite differently!  A willing but forgetful child who is treated as a rebellious one quickly becomes defiant intentionally, and we've seen an awful lot of that.

So, the hope is that combining improved sleep and different parenting styles, we'll have our darling H 80% of the time, rather than 20% of the time.  She may still need to go on medication for AD/HD as well, but I'm fine with that if these other things don't help enough.  I know what it's like to have an AD/HD brain!  :)